The Final Goodbye

I had a moment of realisation whilst away and perhaps from my last post, folk might have guessed that I was leading upto this.  It’s obvious now, for me, that this blog has reached the end of its purpose.

Its purpose was mainly cathartic and through it, I connected with many wonderful people who provided me with love, support and advice in their own ways.  There’s absolutely no regret in my mind for starting this, not only for what it provided me but also as a platform for other women (and men), going through life’s difficulties to connect.

The decision to end this blog has happened for a couple of reasons:

I don’t associate myself as a “divorcee” or really feel the need to pigeon hole myself into that little box anymore.  I’d rather describe myself as a slightly mad, fiesty but underneath it all, a warmhearted and wonderful person.

Secondly, whilst I haven’t been particularly bothered about people knowing about my blog, the focus of my writings is changing.  I would rather not talk about certain intimate details with people whom I don’t really involve in my life.  It’s surprised me  over the past few months that there are people reading this blog whom I wouldn’t have thought cared much about what I have to say; if I was to be cynical, perhaps it’s a way of keeping up with some gossip that my life may be providing.

Divorce ignited within me a passion for writing.  I will continue writing on a different platform and for those who aren’t directly linked to me but I have developed a connection with you through this blog, I am happy to share it and keep in touch.  You all know who you are so pop me an email and I will re-connect with you.  For others, whom I don’t really know but have been reading this, I apologise but I am aiming to keep the next blog fairly private from my personal circle so unless we have shared some communications, I won’t be sharing the details.  I hope this is understandable.

Through this blog, I am hoping to setup an initiative with an established women’s helpline to provide further support, whether it be religious or emotional, to Muslim women going through divorce.  One thing that has become clear is that we get lost in the process.  There is a lack of religious guidance out there but more importantly empathy from religious leaders .  This is something, through our helpline, which we hope to change.  Should there be an avenue where we can take this online then we will endeavour to do so and I will update this blog if it happens.

My email account will be active and I am happy to still provide support.  There’s something to be said about the power of an online community.  And to that community; thank you for your amazing support over the years.  Your own experiences and advice helped in more ways than I can ever express.  In return, I hope this blog has been and will continue to be of use to others going through similar situations.

It’s been four years of cataloguing pain, tears and heartache.  I’ll be honest, it’s probably taken me that long to stop feeling so angry.  However I can also see the wonderful opportunities that life has provided me which I would never have experienced otherwise.  Life goes on.  It takes time to find yourself again but once you do, the possibilities are endless.  We may never be the same but that’s not to say that we can’t become better versions of ourselves.

And on that note…..love and hugs.  Goodbye from me.

Throwbacks

Eid Mubarak to one and all.  My own one for a number of reasons; working, recent bereavement of a dear relative and another family member going through difficulties (who is usually the life and soul of the party) made for a somewhat subdued Eid.  I did however enjoy the time with the masses in the evening.

I was writing in my journal this evening, a bit of time to myself.  How much writing do I do?  Blog, odd articles, journal…..!  I love these moments where I can retreat into my own thoughts.  I imagine an empty page, to me, is probably what a canvas looks like to a painter.  My journal is a close friend to me, encapsulating the worst of  my thoughts and the best of them.  I took myself to the beginning this evening and read through a few of the earlier entries in this particular book.  It got me thinking and I decided to include some of the entries into the blog.

The journal is a bit more raw, for some reason, than the blog.  I still can’t help but think…..was that really me?  It’s a powerful reminder of who I was reduced to, to who I am now – one amazingly strong woman in pursuit of life.

Attack of the Outlaws

I was looking forward to getting stuck into my book for half an hour before bed but instead I’m at the keyboard, venting out the frustration from today.  My ex in-laws reared their head via social media.  I don’t pay much attention to their lives so to see them commenting on a public profile of my brothers took me by surprise.

Irony was not even the word.  I realise the anger from my ex’s wife.  Essentially my brother helped me catch her, organised the meeting with her brother and ultimately supported me heavily throughout the cheating scandal.  The anger from his sisters however, I don’t quite understand.

They called my brother a “retard” which I find flabbergasting given the amount of stick they have had to take from society over their own special needs brother.  To use such an ugly word when it has been used in such an ugly way towards one of your own baffles me.

His new wife piped up in this bizarre online attack claiming to know my brother personally and adding her own words of venom.  I was tempted to ask if watching a video of her sucking off my ex suddenly made us all friends.  I refrained.

I’ve always managed to maintain the moral high ground, to this day, never retaliating despite the ridiculous number of things I’ve been subjected to.  People often mistake patience for weakness.  My patience is wearing thin.

Hello to a New Site

Hello!  I am not so new to the blogging world however I am new to wordpress. I have been writing for a couple of years now on blogger however opted to change to this site as I think it will allow me a bit more privacy for certain posts, should I need it.

You are welcome to catchup on any of my previous blog posts by clicking here.

I look forward to the world of wordpress!