Each time I travel, I receive new lessons, new energies and new found ways to look at life. Bizarrely, I ended up sharing an apartment with a women whose situation paralleled that of mine. Where I had managed to put a label on my ex’s behaviours, she was still struggling…..until we got chatting. Sociopath, there it was again. Everything started clicking for my new friend and almost as though she could breathe again, she told me she understood. It all made sense now. She purchased a copy of a few books that had helped me on my journey and absorb the behaviours of someone so vastly removed from the basic human emotion of empathy.
I believe there’s a greater reason for why I ended up coming to my new destination. I’m not talking about just the above situation and if I’m honest, I’m not entirely sure what it is yet. On one level, I’ve truly come to realise something. Last year’s travelling wasn’t just a fluke. It wasn’t a fluke that I made friends easily. It wasn’t a fluke that I did well by myself. It wasn’t a fluke that I succeeded.
I’m given slack from time to time back home about getting too involved with people. Even in my work, it’s not uncommon for me to visit patients if they’re struggling to get out or in cases where they’re terminal. I get emotionally involved and it’s wrong in our world. I was almost fooled into thinking it was wrong but it’s really not. To become emotionally involved opens you up and yes, can quite possibly subject you to a couple of negative things; people taking advantage and/or you getting hurt in the process.
But becoming emotionally involved also opens you up to something wonderful. It opens you upto friendships. When you’re in a world far from your own, I truly believe it can create a bond to last a lifetime. It creates connections that allow people to see you for who you are and through it, I believe I’ve probably been able to help more people than what I would if I remained in a sterile environment of keeping people at arms length.
As I was saying, it’s not a fluke. It turns out I am good with people, friendships aren’t hard. Not just friendships people make when they travel because they’re scared to be alone but deep friendships. My confidence isn’t an issue, I trust my instinct without question. After talking with my flatmate, I realised something more, my past is firmly where it should be…..in the past. And I feel more than ready now to embrace my future.