Almost but Not Quite

A fair amount happened while I was away but for this post I’ll focus on my man story as I feel keen to share it.  Whilst on my travels last year, I had met someone, let’s call him Tall dude (TD).  We had a few calls but the meetings themselves were limited as we met towards the end of my trip.  Our first proper meet was awkward, infact I didn’t enjoy it.  I didn’t envision round two.  It seems he did and was either being mature about it, thinking first meets are always awful or had simply not felt anything was wrong.  Second meetup was ok.  That’s about as far as I would go, not as easy flowing as our calls had been but not as awful as the meeting the day before.

Despite the meetings being awkward, I felt somewhat connected to him through our earlier conversations.  Infact, I would go as far as to say, he was the first man I had felt connected to since my divorce.  Upon my return, we kept in touch, not regularly but we had the odd skype to catchup on life.  I don’t tend to keep casual male friends so this was unusual for me.  In my heart of heart, I possibly thought something might happen one day and I’m sure he did too which is why we made the effort.

Fast forward a year.  TD and I met whilst I was on my travels, we both knew there was a possibility I could end up in his home country prior to me coming home and it happened.  As far as I was concerned we were both on the same page; getting to know one another in a more serious way for marriage.

I dreaded our first meeting and decided if it was anything like our last ones then I wouldn’t be polite and ditch any suggestions for further meets.  Thankfully it was easy.  Perhaps having spoken on/off for a year meant we had developed a foundation or some sort of friendship that we were able to work off.  Our conversations ranged from intellectual to light and I would say we shared a fair amount in the time we spent together.

We bumped into his brother in law on one of the days and I jokingly mentioned that his family will be talking about the hot girl he was seen with.  He replied that his family knew we were meeting and getting to know each other while I was here.  A few days before I left, he had mentioned his sister was visiting (she lives in a different albeit nearby country) and on the day I was leaving, arranged for us to have lunch with his sister and her husband.  Perhaps I’m rusty at this but to me, it seemed to be going in a somewhat serious direction.   Yet I got to the last day and neither of us had that “where’s this going?” conversation.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for a ring on my finger after this visit.  I was merely looking for a bit of a serious chat as to how we proceed.  Even at this stage, there were things I was uncertain about and had we decided to have the chat, I would have brought it up.

Slightly irked, I moved onto my next destination.  Irked as I had tried to broach things a couple times before I left but could tell he wasn’t for having it.  In our subsequent phone call, I grabbed the bull by the horns.  In his words, his life isn’t where it should be and he never brought anything up as it would force us to make a decision and potentially end the relationship in its entirety which isn’t what he wanted.  I felt it was slightly unfair as I hadn’t been considered in this nor been given any clarity and I said as much.

The time spent wasn’t a waste so the feeling of annoyance never came from that as such.  He was a perfect gentleman the whole time and good company.  Infact it made me realise how much I missed companionship.  My own gut feeling is that his parents’ messy divorce still affects him; he got scared, panicked and backed off.  The flip side could be that he simply decided he wasn’t interested and tried to be polite about it.  Whatever it is, it’s been left in my court to decide whether I want to continue talking, having been made clear that if we do then we talk only as friends as he doesn’t want to give any promises.  I’ve decided to take a step back, maybe still smarting a little that I got a bit excited at having potentially found someone I thought I connected with.

 

 

5 thoughts on “Almost but Not Quite

  1. It’s really difficult to know what you should do next . Talking as friends is good but it becomes difficult if only one of you wants more or to move in another direction. Did you have lunch with his sister or was it arranged but did not happen? The other thing is if you are “talking” how is this affecting your prospects for a relationship as far as men in your community are concerned?
    I am sure than one day you will meet a man that really wants someone like you, someone who had the experience you have and can understand and look at things in a different light. Someone with whom they can have a conversation someone who challenges them mentally as well as someone they can fall in love with. But in the meanwhile my thoughts are with you
    Barthola

    Like

    • Hi barthola. Nice to hear from you again. We had lunch with his sister and her husband. It was nice and relaxed. I feel that it’s unfair to someone else I may get to know to be talking to him. I also feel there’s no point really. He may well come back to me if his life settles or he may not depending on what the real reason is for not taking things forward! Xx

      Like

    • I also have a feeling by the time he realises what he wants, it may well be a bit too late…I can’t really hang around waiting for someone and that’s probably why he’s not making any promises. I don’t think he’s a douche but I think he’s a bit of a muddled up man who doesn’t quite know what he wants yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I was thinking the other day after seeing your tweet about what an amazing personality you have..it really isn’t the typical basic B type personality which most woman suffer from (I’m personally guilty)..and yet you have normal feelings and doubts as all other woman in our positions would.. I wondered about how there must be a man out there who is looking for you. For your personality. For your quirks and your presence in his life. But he’s meeting and talking with a bunch of women that are on and off clicking just like your TD. I really really hope you meet the guy who is looking for you soon ❤️

    Like

  3. Hmm it sounds like he was stringing you along abit, if he wasn’t ready, why on earth would he introduce you to family!? Let alone tell them about you.
    If after all that time spent chatting, he’s still unsure, then it’s best to leave him to it I reckon. Someone that confused will probably be indecisive about a lot of things 😬
    Well done to you though on staying positive, as Dory would say “Just keep swimming…” 😊

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s