Evaded Justice

I’m standing at a cross road now, a decision to make.  Four years on, still dealing with loose ends.

If you followed the blog from the beginning then you will know there was nonsense to do with my wedding jewellery.  This was kept by the in-laws and never returned to me after the marriage ended.  As part of my legal papers, I requested this be given back or compensated for it as well as money which my ex stole from me.  My ex agreed to pay me and the only time he reached out was to ask if I would accept instalment payments from him.  I agreed.

One sheriff officer, an arrestment warrant and four years later, there has never been any return of the jewellery nor payment made.  Last year, the warrant was served on his earnings whereby this month, a certain amount of his wage would be deducted and used to pay off his debt to me.  I emailed his work to confirm if this was going ahead.  I can promise you that before I even sent the email, I knew what the reply would be.  He had been fired from that job and as a result they obviously couldn’t proceed.

This brings me back to square one.  Find out, yet again, where he works.  Involve a sheriff officer.  Serve him papers.  Cost to me, another £200 atleast.  Chances are he will be fired sooner or later from that job resulting in the same saga being replayed over and over again.

The law doesn’t make things easy despite the fact that I am the one legally wronged.  In order to seek some sort of justice or reclaim what I am entitled to, I am expected to haemorrhage money into lawyers, officers and paperwork……only for it to fall apart time and time again.

I have to ask myself the question;  why am I doing this?  I’m sure somewhere deep down, it started off as a means for me to aggravate him.  A sense of revenge, perhaps to humiliate him in the same way I felt humiliated by him.  Now, I don’t care enough for revenge.  I don’t have the energy to waste any more.  I won’t get justice.  You win.

But really, at the heart of it, it’s me that wins.  I don’t need the jewellery like your family does.  I don’t need the money like you do.  I’ve cut the last thread that connected us.  It’s done.  We’re done.


6 thoughts on “Evaded Justice

  1. Best decision you’re going to make. I hope you find peace soon. Iv come to realise closure is a choice, especially after being married to a toxic narc who had never been taught responsibility or accountability. I spent all my earnings on him and he literally left me homeless. However, I’d rather be homeless than live in the toxic home he does. I thank Allah every second I remember I awful it was.


    • I feel better for letting it go. In one sense, we all want justice but I came to the realisation a long time ago that I probably wasn’t ever going to see it. It feels better to leave it and I’m grateful for the stability I have which ultimately due to his sickness, he will never have. I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through but you sound like an incredibly strong woman x


  2. I understand. After I threw my soon to be ex husband out (and got his sorry @ss charged for assault), I had all types of grand plans which involved me ringing every one of his sister’s husbands (3 in total) and telling each of them what a disgusting family they married into- as these people and him are very very conscious of their own reputation. I even wrote down all their numbers on a piece of paper and filed it safely. Now, almost 4 months on, I honestly see no point. At the end of the day, it is I who threw him out, I who got him charged and I who left him. He can hurt me no longer but he will be hurting for the rest of his life just by the type of despicable person he is. Your scenario is the same. Let it be. It is not worth the hassle, the effort, and the fact of having to relive everything again by going to all this trouble. He will be held accountable for his actions.


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