“All the Ladies who Truly Feel Me…”

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for some time, following a conversation with a male cousin of mine.  Touching upon the subject of looking for potential spouses for one of our cousins, I mentioned to him that I hoped something good happened soon.  “It will, I can sense good things are in store for her”.  Rather surprised at his quite sentimental words, I asked him, if he predicted anything for me.  He hesitated, briefly…..but I caught it.  “Are you wanting to settle down?”, he asked.

This is the unfortunate reality, as a women, for when you try to live your life.  To the outside, I am living a fairly care-free life.  Rather than wallow, I left.  I live life fairly independently because I have to.   I smile because there’s no point in crying.  I appear strong because nobody can help when I feel weak.  If I was a man, living the way I do, I would never have been asked the question above.  As a female, I was.

I’ve learnt to hold back a little when people’s comments irritate me and try to answer calmly.  “Ofcourse I do.  We’re not made to live alone and I crave companionship”.  That was my civil answer.  My male counterpart would never have to give an answer because it would be granted that a man cannot live without sex.  Yet a woman is different because we can?  A woman of course does not have the biological makeup in her that craves intimacy!

I’m long past feeling hurt by anybody’s comments.  I can appreciate that if somebody who is related to me thinks along those lines then I have very little hope for anybody else to think differently.

7 thoughts on ““All the Ladies who Truly Feel Me…”

  1. Salam,
    Do not let your family make you feel that you less. Remember the prophet first wife was a business owner AND Independent. Let’s not forget about the woman in Islam that were not only there to support our messengers and prophets but that also had their own lives and were respect by many.

    Answer truthfully do not let culture dictate your responses. Insha’Allah when Allah (SWT) puts a man in front of you he will appreciate everything about you to include your independence and fragility as a woman. He will not put you down but instead put see you as equal to him. You are his partner in all aspect of his life not just one…

    Please forgive me if I am being to forward, I believe that in these times women do not need a man it is the other way around. Regardless if we provide any income without us they cannot function in many things but we have the strength Alhamdulilah to provide and raise our children by ourselves if we must.

    Not to say a man cannot but now are not the times were there are “man” or “woman” roles. We are in an era were marriage should be of love, spiritual growth (individually and as a marriage), and just wanting to have a best friend where you can share everything together…

    Liked by 2 people

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