Related to relationships given we can now establish that I have a few issues with new ones, is it pragmatic of me to assume that the actions of somebody committed in the past will be brought into his present/future? Or is this cynicism?
I like to think of myself as a logical person. I spoke at length the other day with my dad about this. We differ somewhat in our thoughts. I find myself wanting to know every single detail of the person’s past. I realise that there is always going to be the risk that any new man won’t be honest, particularly as I’m not living within my own community where I could have easily phoned somebody to do some digging for me.
But what if the person is honest. For somebody who comes from a somewhat conservative and perhaps sheltered background (or atleast I did until my move!), the things which people do still unsettles me. My concerns; is it easy to slip into old habits? Should I be on the quest for some puritan only or do I accept that we all have some baggage?
My ex was never honest about his past and perhaps due to my young age or lack of experience, I never questioned it much. His past included a number of women and relationships. He was clearly unable to settle down. Therefore is it reasonable to expect that any guy who has had plenty of past relationships will be the same and that eventually they all slip back into old habits?
My dad tells me that if somebody is honest enough to admit they have made mistakes, I shouldn’t delve into it. They admitted something which was potentially difficult to them and I should focus on what their plan is for the future. I just don’t know what the right answer is. The more people I ask, the more confused I seem to get.