Hush

Nobody asks me anything about the past anymore which one can assume to be a normal and healthy reaction.  Let sleeping dogs lie now.  Itshhh frustrates me however that people get uncomfortable when I talk about my marriage.  It was five years.   A drop in the ocean of life but a fairly significant chapter in mine.  I want to be asked questions; find out how I’m doing, have I healed?  Am I still a wreck?  Do I think about the marriage?  Let me talk.

People don’t ask because they don’t want to think about it.  They don’t want to think about what happened to me as they don’t want any emotion to be evoked in them.  Because it hurts them.  Them. THEM.

Do you see?

6 thoughts on “Hush

  1. I do see. So much I want to talk about that no one else does because ‘it’s in the past’ and I get it, but surely it’s healthier to get things out of your system than to keep it all bottled in? Also, who gives people the right to decide what is best for you anyway. How presumptuous of some folk. Rant Over.

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    • I suppose for me it’s not so much about keeping things bottled but just the fact that there are times where I do talk about the past. I can tell quite quickly when people are uncomfortable with it and it forces me to stop the conversation. It irritates me as if anybody should be sensitive over it, it is me so if I’m not then others need to relax. The other bit that tends to annoy me is when my ex’s name is mentioned and family tell me they don’t want to hear that name…….well maybe I want to speak about something and I shouldn’t be forced to shut down because people cannot handle hearing his name anymore.

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  2. I know what you mean. I have had to brush some conversations under the carpet to spare people the awkwardness when the issue was about ME ro begin with and I was happy to talk about it. I felt like hello? Something is not quite right here. But no, no one wanted to listen. I persevere till I find someone who will coz I am sad like that lol

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  3. Just another poor example of the ‘support’. I found the support seriously lacking in the community, no one wanted to ask too much, some friends asked me ‘but you look/ed so happy’ one suggested it may even have been a front (which for me at least, it wasn’t par the arguments). It was ridicolous how his and sadly some of my family didn’t want to get ‘involved’ didnt want to mediate, didn’t even so much as give me a call and ask me how I was doing (or doing even now). It’s all very ugly, I think it should be about you, if you want to talk about it, I would damn well talk about it. I have moments I want to rant on and on but lately I find myself teary when my family want to talk about the things that happened so I guess it goes either way. But in honesty, we should be allowed to deal with it how we feel will help us, even if it is mentioning innocent little things about the past. I wanted to say thank you for this blog, it is a huge support for me at this time.

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    • Sorry Astar, I seem to have missed your comment up until now. I hope you are well. I’ve learnt that the key is to talk. Once people realise that you are matter of fact about that part of life and are not about to turn into a wailing mess, they seem to mellow. As it happens, as time goes on, you’ll find there’s less of a need to mention his name as you will create good memories without him x

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