Eid for the past couple of years has actually felt like a celebration rather than a chore. Throughout marriage, the approach of Eid brought about a knot in my stomach, wondering what dramas would unfold and how to celebrate alongside my ex’s family.
To give examples, the Eid before the split, my ex and I visited the in-laws home. My MIL gleefully hugged my ex in an exaggerated show of affection whilst I ended up essentially hug-raping her. The families had all received gifts from me in the form of delivered cupcakes however there was no acknowledgment. The one and only kind gesture I ever remember was some “Eidi” one year from my BIL’s which was rather nice and unexpected.
Travelling, despite it not being long, has already brought about a form of healing. I had been somewhat oblivious to the remnants of anger which I still carried however upon making new friendships, discovering that each person has their own story and perhaps some thankfulness that my toxic relationship is over, I feel a release. I haven’t given much thought about what my ex did nor my past life, except to occasionally ponder how I would never be experiencing what I am now had he not done what he did.
For that I am thankful, a ball and chain was lifted and I am running off into the big glorious world.