When it comes to me, my family have this underlying fear and it comes from experiences past. My dad’s sister had the standard marriage of those days which ended in divorce a few years later. I don’t know the ins and outs. Around ten years later, another letter arrived, telling my parents that she was married to a born again Christian called Stan
My dad’s other sister had a fairly modern version of the arranged marriage. She spoke to him and got to know him a little. She wasn’t particularly religious but opted to marry this man who was quite practising and knowledgeable in matters of religion. I suppose she felt he would be able to impart some of his teachings to her……that was until he imparted a head butt and a couple of broken fingers her way. I think it was about three years after her divorce that we found out she had a new partner and his name was Steven.
Steven and Stan were never Muslim when they met my aunts although I believe Steven later converted. To give some background, a Muslim woman marrying a Christian/Hindu/Atheist etc bloke is considered a “cardinal” sin. I’m not going into what I believe to be quite open hypocrisies concerning the different rulings for men and woman on these matters, perhaps a rant for another time.
You probably catch the drift though on what my family is worried about. I can’t really allay their fears either. You see, I understand what my aunts did and why they did it. You marry the man that ticks the religious, cultural boxes and all for what? There, now you have the sense of despair. Then comes the waiting around (1..2..10 years?) in the hope that somebody will join you in the day to day of life’s journey. There, now you have the sense of loneliness.
But what if the Muslim man never comes?
What if Stan/Steven does?