I am ashamed to admit it but straight out of my breakup, armed with mistress and ex’s twitter accounts, I stalked.  I’m not quite sure what I was hoping to find, perhaps some miserable tweets on my ex’s page to make me feel better as though he would realise what a big mistake he had made.

I think social media stalking when you’re fresh out a breakup is somewhat acceptable however it doesn’t mean it’s healthy.  I stopped twitter stalking when my ex and his girlfriend cottoned on to what I as doing and started leaving “lovely” messages in their “bio” for me.  To give you an example of the type of thing I’m talking about, I quote below:

Mistress: “Money doesn’t buy you a dress sense, you’ll always be FUGLY b**ch.  Money talks but it didn’t let you keep a husband did it? #hypocriticalbitch #insidejoke”

To add insult to injury, I had to google what “FUGLY” meant!  I think a few of the others were related to being a hypocrite and something along those lines typed nicely on my ex’s bio at one point.  Credit to them, it was a fairly good way to keep wounding me and it did.  I can acknowledge that I brought that on myself and maybe I did it because I wanted to keep myself there, that pool of misery.

It was when I read the message above that I eventually saw sense and enough was enough.  I am proud to admit that I haven’t twitter, facebook (and whatever else there is) stalked in over a year which means that my time as a stalker was probably about 8 months. There has been the occasional message to do with legal papers although unsurprisingly no response so I probably won’t be bothering anymore with direct communication.

People always say social media is a God send and a curse.  For me it has been a bit of both.  A God send in that the private investigators used it to obtain information needed about my ex’s indiscretions.  A curse as I suppose even if they are out of my life now, they are still connected albeit very distantly through this mechanism of wires.

5 thoughts on “Stalking

  1. I respect you admitting what we all do post breakup!! I can’t seem to stop though. I feel like I am obsessed with knowing every little detail about his life and why he walked out on me. I just feel like a sad pathetic loser with the way I’m acting and I know it’s not healthy……do you have any more tips?


    • Hi Nina. You’re not pathetic or a loser. You may be sad but it seems like it is probably from the breakup itself. I think like myself, you were probably trying to find some closure and we go about through every means possible. When the relationship ends so suddenly and there was no sense of closure nor will there probably ever be, it can be hard……I mean really hard. Just realise that no amount of stalking their life, will give you what you are looking for and start focussing your energy on yourself rather than them. If you have to, block their profiles so that you don’t feel tempted to check his internet life out! It takes time, as you read, it took me a while so don’t be too hard on yourself! xx


  2. I still don’t get why you didn’t just kill her. If I was stuck in such a situation and the people involved were not apologetic at all, I’d hunker down in the bushes a few buildings down and take them out with a sniper rifle. I don’t know if you guys in the UK go shooting, maybe that’s more an American thang.


    • ZebramZee, I can’t remember if you’re the same person that suggested I kill them both in one of my other posts lol but I’m not really one for hunkering in bushes. Occasional violent thoughts did cross my mind but let’s face it, I’m a lady so I’ll leave that to the tramp 😉


      • I don’t remember, but that sounds like me, so it probably was. It just depends on what you feel you have to lose if you do it. If you think you can live on and have a good life and don’t want to go to jail forever, then maybe you shouldn’t. If you feel like you have nothing left to live for, well then…

        I’ll just leave you with a quote from Starship troopers: “My mother said violence never solves anything.” “So?” Mr. Dubois looked at her bleakly. “I’m sure the city fathers of Carthage would be glad to know that.”


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